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| This week has been really long. It started out okay until Anne and I got cussed out by a coworker and then again last night. It's just one of those bizarre situations that happen and you keep thinking....where's Candid Camera....no seriously. I really wish the situation could have been resolved without bringing the bosses into it. Anne just reminded me that it was beyond that and we had to talk to someone. I hate conflict and am such an ueber people pleaser that it's so tough when someone just says such vile and hateful things and I'm clueless where it's coming from.
Thanks for being there Anne. In a way I'm glad that both of us got cussed out instead of just you or me so we can help each other out. Hopefully it doesn't happen again....:)I'm not sure how much more I can take. I reached my quota for the decade in only three days. yeah! | | |
| William Butler Yeats - Brown Penny
I whispered, 'I am too young,'
And then, 'I am old enough';
Wherefore I threw a penny
To find out if I might love.
'Go and love, go and love, young man,
If the lady be young and fair.'
Ah, penny, brown penny, brown penny,
I am looped in the loops of her hair.
O love is the crooked thing,
There is nobody wise enough
To find out all that is in it,
For he would be thinking of love
Till the stars had run away
And the shadows eaten the moon.
Ah, penny, brown penny, brown penny,
One cannot begin it too soon.
What can I say---I'm a hopeless romantic at heart. | | |
| I'm so tired. I'm subbing from 10-5 and it sucks. I thought I was in laptops...that goes fast. But no....stuck in Abel. I'm awfully tempted to start playing games. It's that or fall asleep. No one has been here in an entire hour.
Went to the Starz game last night. They lost. Some guy got smaked in the face and lost a tooth. That was coo! No fights. Sad. | | |
| There
are times in my life where I doubt God's existence. Yes, it's true.
Times when life seems to really suck and no one is listening. But then,
there are times when I can't doubt His existence. Like what happened
today.
Last
week, my Mom and I started talking about an old friend of mine, Cira.
Then just a few days ago she came up in conversation again. We went to
high school together and I introduced her to my good friend John, whom
she dated for a few years. Basically, she was borken. Gorgeous, a drug
addict, partied too much, anorexic, and searching for someone to love
her. Cira was the product of her teenage Mom making a mistake. That's
what she's been told all her life- that she was the biggest mistake her
Mom ever made. Great, isn't it. Her mom later joined the Mormon church
and met a military man. They married and had three kids. Cira was
always seen as a mistake. Her new father insisted that he call her that
and treated her rather harshly. Her mom beat her and yelled at her and
told her she was worthless. They both tried to control ever aspect of
her life. Now you probably get why she became anorexic.
When
I introduced John and Cira, I told both of them beforehand that they
could never date. I explained that they would be terrible for each
other and I knew they'd want to date. They both thought I was being
silly but sure enough, they hooked up. John was a drug dealer who
thought he was a real tought guy. He thought he could fix Cira and she
thought he could fill the whole in her life by loving her. They were
both terribly wrong.
By
the time I went to college, Cira had gotten pregnant a few times. She
was arogant about being anorexic. I often told her that she should use
protection. She laughed about how her frail body would never be able to
support life. She knew that the second she ever became pregnant that
her sick body would attack that innocent life and self-preserve by
rejecting it. It happened. Twice. At least, those are the times we knew
of. John was destroyed by it. He wanted a baby when he found out she
was pregnant. They soon parted ways. He said it was because she cheated
on him. I think it was probably because he didn't want to admit that
she broke his heart and killed his child.
After
all this, Cira disappeared. Last I hear, she moved to Arizona. Her
parents moved to New Mexico and she was finally free of them. I prayed
that she wasn't dead. I honestly thought should could be. When my Mom
and I were talking about her, we both wondered if she was still a mess.
Still trying to fill that void in her life with drugs, alcohol, and
men?
Today,
an old high school buddy, Jess, showed up on East Campus where I'm
subbing for four hours. We chatted a bit and I felt sorry for her. She
looked really troubled and depressed. We talked about school friends
and I mentioned that I rarely see anyone from high school. Shen then
said that she lives across the way from Cira. She then gave me her
phone number. I didn't even ask for it. wow. I was stunned. I'm still
kinda stunned. This girl, whom I have only thought of a few times over
the years but has been on my heart this whole last week is back in
town. I thought she was dead. Apparently, she's not. :) She has a kid
and lives in Lincoln. Crazy. So if that's not a sign from God that I
need to reach out to her, I don't know what is. What is the chance that
I'd be working on East campus today? I haven't worked here once all
semester. Then, what is the chance that Jess would show up on the day
that I'm working here? Haven't seen her in over two years. And on top
of that, what is the chance that she would bring up Cira and just give
me her phone number. Like that.
I wonder how she's doing. I wonder if she's found what she's been looking for all this time. Guess, I'll find out.
Sorry it's long. I just feel totally wowed out.
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| I
definitely need to be more detail oriented. Though...the fact that I'm
not often creates interesting stories...Take this one, for example. A
year ago, I ordered my parents a box of pears and a salmon from
Harry & David. The salmon arrived but no pears. Oh well, thought I,
must have chosen to not order the pears. Oh contrare. Last week, I came
home to a lovely box of pears. Just a bit late, aren't we? So I ring
them up and ask about what happened to the pears and why they're so
late. They're completely baffled, feel absolutely horrible, apologize
and promise to send a free box of pears in time for Christmas of this
year. So now I'm gonna have two boxes of pears. Yeah! Mommy and Daddy
get a box for free and I get to eat the box that I paid for over a year
ago. Lordy, Lordy!
In
other news, I proposed facebook marriage to Mark Mager and he happily
accepted. Wedding gifts may be sent only to the bride as Mark has
graciously declined. I wanna blender! I wanna blender!
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